August 29, 2007 - 3:31 p.m.
So last year after NaNoWriMo was over, Chris Baty decided to start this new thing he called the Year of Scary Things. My Year of Scary Things started with this new semester.
It's my senior year of college. The last one. If it all goes according to plan (and I'm trying my hardest to make it), I will graduate in May. So every single day, I find myself thinking "This time next year, I'll be out there in the world, on my own."
Believe it or not, this thought isn't as scary as some of my classes. Maybe scary isn't the word. Challenging. There you go.
The main thing is the musical theater workshop. It's been a long time since I've had to sing in front of people by myself. I'm great in a choir, ok in musicals, and even marginally ok in auditions. But when a teacher says to you on Monday, just bring something to sing on Wednesday, I panic a little. Or a lot. Two days is a lot of time to make myself worry, and I'm really good at that. But I did it. I got up and sang today. And I survived. I could feel my knees shaking the whole time, but I did it.
And it's not just the singing. It's everything else, too. Soon it'll be time for the big Hellman reading, and then senior readings, and then I'll be out of here and auditioning for the Rockettes and god knows what else.
Honestly, I kind of like that I'm doing all these things that scare me. Isn't that the only way to really live? Force yourself out of your comfort zone, and take a risk. I'm daring to eat a peach. And I'll keep on doing it, if only to keep getting that rushing feeling in my chest I get when I think about these things.
