August 31, 2006 - 8:35 p.m.
This is what I love about my school. All summer I've been nervous about the intermediate fiction workshop I'm taking this semester. The teacher has notoriously high expectations. I had a different class of his last year, and it was tough but good. So in going into this workshop, it's not just that I don't want to be ripped to shreds in front of my peers, it's also that I don't want to disappoint him, because he's a great teacher and writer, and I respect him. (His name is Mark Behr, by the way, if you want to read any of his books.)
So I've been kicking myself because I really wanted to build up a good writing habit this summer, and get to the point where I work on writing a lot more on my own, if not every eay. I don't want to be one of those students who only writes when there's a class assignment. But I didn't do that this summer. There was about a week where I managed to write a little everyday, but then I slacked off again. I am glad I read a lot, but I wanted to write more. I could have written first drafts of at least two or three short stories this summer. But I didn't.
And today we had our first class for the workshop, and Mark spent the first half hour or so telling us all these things that just made me feel so much better. He said how he understands that it really is hard to make yourself write every single day, what a struggle it is to make yourself sit down in front of the blank page and write, and not watch TV or go for a walk or even read a book. And he told us how spectacular it is when you do find a way to make yourself do it every day, and how it just gets better and better. And he told us that it's not about talent, it's about putting in the work, and that if we just do that, we can all be successful, published writers. All that and so much more. And it was just so encouraging, and exactly what I needed to here right now.
Just that speech alone today is exactly why I transferred to this school, why I put myself through the stress of applying to schools (my least favorite thing in the entire world), and why I fought and cried and even hyperventilated to get out of TCU, and moved away from home when I miss my mom so much. Today alone is reason enough for me.
