March 27, 2006 - 3:12 p.m.
Ok, I know, I haven't updated in a month and a half, I know. But there's a reason. All will be revealed in time. But for the moment, you get the condensed version of my life! Huzzah!
So. Whole lotta nothing happened for Valentine's, as usual. But my mom did send me massive amounts of dark chocolate (the only valentine's-related anything I got). And more importantly she sent me two king cakes! Yay for Mardi Gras! In celebration of that fantastic day, I skipped my poetry class. Good times.
March has mostly just been busy. Mid-terms, papers, projects, work, stuff. For spring break I went up to Provo, Utah to see Neaves, and then I went home. Lots and lots of time spent in the car by myself. Lots. The ride up there was about ten hours, but I took the scenic route on the way back and added three hours and two hundred miles to the trip. But it was fun. I found winding roads along the Colorado River, and I drove way too fast on tiny back roads with no one around for miles, and I went to Four Corners, even though I got there after they closed. I should have just hopped the gate. But maybe next time. And going home was nice. I hung out at my dad's house, reading and watching movies and playing with the cat for three days, then drove back to school feeling a little less homesick. That's another new development lately, I've been missing home so much, and missing my mom terribly. And I didn't even get to see her, since she's working on her house in Louisiana. But hey, only forty-nine days until I go home for the summer.
The last week since I got back from spring break have been ridiculously stressful. I spent all Sunday night after I drove back working on a revision for my creative non-fiction class. I told myself I would just get as much done as I could then go to bed when I got tired, but I never got tired, so I only fifteen minutes of sleep that night. So I finished that, then went straight into my mid-term, which was a take-home exam. Then I called in sick to class because I was completely running on empty and my professor told me to bring it to his office the next day.
For the last week and half, I've been having some sort of strange existential crisis, wondering what I'm doing at this school, why I'm doing all this, what good is any of it - that sort of thing. I don't know why, or how to stop it, I just keep having this feeling that everything is wrong. But nothing is wrong. There's no reason for me to feel this way. It's been to the point that I seriously thought about transferring schools (I was looking at University of Washington, specifically.). It's made it really hard to get work done, and of course this would come at the time when I have the most to do. Even tonight, I have a poetry assignment and a six-page paper to write. But by this time tomorrow I'll be in the clear, so I'll be ok. I do wish this feeling would go away, though. The only way I've gotten through everything is by sheer force of will. I realized on some level that not doing my schoolwork would only make things worse, so I got through it. And I'm getting there.
One thing that is vastly helping my state of mind is that I have something very exciting to look forward to: next weekend I'm starting a five-week static trapeze class. I'm so excited! Check out this website to hear all about it, and about this really cool company. I'm so thrilled. How many chances will I get to do something like this? And I'm going to find out what kind of other classes they have, too.
Ok, I think that's about it. You're pretty much up to speed now. As for the reason for all the stalling, you'll just have to be patient.
